Do you ever think we had weak moments when we decided to have children or pets? The newborn baby is so cute, but as it is awake all night, you think, did I think of all of this?
Now the child reaches the terrible twos and again you question your decision-making.
Ok, now they are a teenager and know everything about everything, and you can't tell them anything. Again, do you question yourself?
Now you decide you want a puppy. After all, they are so cute. Like the baby, they are up all night, but at least the baby wears a diaper. Now the puppy has chewed off the leg of the kitchen table. Again, do you question your logic?
Now, you try and leave the puppy alone in a room and it howls for attention. Or like Phoebe, it sees its reflection in the glass door and screams because it thinks someone is trying to break in, so you open the door to show her there is no one there and she takes off out the door.
At this point, do you question your decision-making abilities? I don't even question my decisions, I know (oops, I can't put in print what I am really thinking) how lucky I am.
Dec 30 - Jan 5
I decided I am going to Amazon to search for and purchase a DNA detector. I hate it when I find a substantially large surprise and can't figure out which dog it is from. This way, I know who the culprit is. I have cameras in the house because my son used to, and still does, sneak snacks, but the dogs seem to be aware of where the cameras are located and only do their business in camera-free zones. Next time we get dogs, I will make sure they're not smarter than me.
I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I, for one, am exhausted.
Have a wonderful New Year!
Dec 23 - 29
So every night my wife and I try and take the dogs out to do their business around 6 pm and then again at 9 pm, before we go to bed. Now most of the time it is a struggle to get them to do anything. I try all types of things even singing them potty songs in hopes that they will complete their mission. When they finally go, I feel like I have accomplished a miracle. So the other night after about 5 minutes they both went at the 6 o’clock time. Then at 8:30, we took them out again. This time my singing proved to be fruitless. So at 9:00 we went out again, and after 10 minutes, I gave up because they just sat there and stared at me. So I let them in and put them to bed, but I was very nervous because we let Cooper sleep on our bed with us. We apparently made it to 5 am and I took them out and after some time they did their business. So I started thinking that Cooper went 11 hours without an accident, and I am oh so envious.
Dec 16 - 22
The conspiracy theory about fire hydrants.
What is a fire hydrant's primary purpose? You would think it was to put out fires, when in fact it is very rare that a fire hydrant is ever used for water. So, what are they most used for? Yes, a place for our dogs to relieve themselves.
When fire hydrants were first installed they had a sweet smell to them (probably from the paint), which attracted dogs, and therefore they would want to mark their spot there. However, there is a group of us that believe that the firemen didn't appreciate the hydrants' notoriety, and so, they repainted all the fire hydrants (obviously at night), to distract all dogs from living their dream. I think this is very sad. Unless we do something, this is a tradition that will soon be forgotten.
So I am trying to recruit a force to go out and repaint all the hydrants in their original sweet-smelling red paint (obviously at night). What do you say? Are you in?
I will leave signup sheets by the register.