May 29 - Jun 4

When someone tells a lie but they think it is the truth, is it a lie? 

I went in the pantry to find the floor sticky as fly paper. Of course there were 2 empty cans of pineapple on the shelf nicely placed. So I asked my son if he ate the pineapple.

“No dad, someone broke in last night and ate them”.

Well it was nice of them to leave the empty cans so nicely placed.

“Oh, I am the one to put them away in place dad, I wanted things to look nice.”

Thank you, you’re a nice boy.

On another note…

Do you know the main problem of driving a fully electric car? Since you never stop for gas you never clean your windows.

May 22 - 28

Ok, have you ever had a Twilight Zone moment?

So the night we got back from Humboldt, my wife and I were exhausted. We went to bed early, but in the middle of the night her breathing woke me up. Her breathing was very loud and unusual, which I thought was very unusual for her. Anyway, I went ahead and got up and went ahead to use the adjoining bathroom. I get in and close the door, with the lights off and I still hear the breathing, like it is in the bathroom. I stand there like a little boy who experienced his first nightmare and I am completely bewildered.

I now realize that the window was open and so was the window in the bedroom, but it sure sounds like the sound is here with me in the bathroom. I turn on the light and open the blind and it stopped. Ok, so some animal was up in the tree snoring outside our rooms or do I need to get in touch with Rod Serling?

By the way, we had a great car show at Taylors and we had a fun time with the band. I appreciate those of you that made it out.

May 15 - 21

When my social worker wife and I adopted the first 2 kids over 20 years ago, we really had no idea what we were getting into. They were full siblings who had never met each other and each of them had already lived in 6 foster homes. Mariah, the oldest, came to us with a lot of trauma so the transition to being in a real family was very difficult. Adopted kids are always looking for something that is not there and so they face a life that is just difficult to comprehend for the rest of us. Well, Mariah is graduated from Cal Poly Humboldt yesterday and I am so freaking proud of her I just can’t tell you.

I wanted to use the real “f-word” up there but my wife said it would be too inappropriate.

Also we had this wonderful 6 hour drive up there with our darling children. Let me repeat that, 6 hours with my wonderful children in the car.

May 8 - 14

I have come up with a way to produce enough electricity to power the whole country. 

When I come home from work I have to play with Cooper and I try to wear him out so that I can take a break. But I realized I can’t wear him out, so I thought why not put him and a 1000 other puppies on treadmills that would produce electricity when something ran on it. 

So you get this treadmill and you put Cooper on it and you put this television screen in front of him with a cat playing with his favorite toy. The cat makes an annoying noise and then takes off with his toy on a road that resembles the treadmill. Hopefully he won’t try to mark his territory while he is running. It might short out the entire project.