Jun 3 - 9

I apparently suffer from goose envy. 

So we are out in the country and we have a small pond and our neighbor has a large pond. Our pond is also surrounded by trees, where as the neighbor’s pond is much more open. Consequently, when the geese fly over they always go next door, leaving me feeling like the kid no one wants to talk to. Well, last week a couple family of geese must have flown into their pond but one of the teenage geese landed on my side. It started  crying because the rest of the family was living the dream in the fancy pond while this guy was stuck in the slum pond. Well it was driving me nuts that he was crying and I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t fly over. So I call my friend Tom who works with all the nature preserves and ask him what to do. He of course said you do nothing. This is nature.

Ok, so I am sitting out there while this guy keeps crying, I even put a ladder over there to no avail. After about another 45 minutes I went over grabbed the stubborn thing and threw it over the fence. He immediately joined his family and they all rejoiced. Every day since, I see what the rich side of the life is like, while I am gooseless. Well, today they all came into my yard and I now feel like I am on top of the world.

Except that I got up this morning and all the geese were staring at the neighbor’s pond thinking “OMG, we made a big mistake?"

May 27 - Jun 2

This is a nonpolitical political view of a story I read:
Ok so today I read a story of our national debt which now stands at 35 trillion dollars. That is $100,000 for each US citizen. In 1992 Ross Perot campaigned on the subject. In his comments (they are on YouTube) he stole quotes from a speech from Cisero of the Roman Empire, which were “You must have a balanced budget”.  We continue to increase this debt every year no matter what party is in office. The problem is that no party with political ties will try to decrease the deficit. Any form of government that tries to raise taxes to pay off the debt or take away public benefits to pay off the debt, will get voted out of office, and the problem is this will inevitably fall on our children’s shoulders. My wife and I are trying to figure out how to take care of our 2 disabled children the rest of their lives. If the banking system collapses it would be worse than the Great Recession and that would especially affect the disabled. We must somehow make this an apolitical solution, and the only thing I can think of (and this is why I am not running for office) is to instill a national sales tax. I know that sounds terrible, but we have to do something. Maybe if we can just reduce the debt by a small margin each year, that would at least show some progress we haven’t yet achieved. But we have to do something.
 
And now for something serious:
I was in the downstairs bathroom, where we have this freestanding shower (I have spoke of before), when I noticed a cookie rapper hanging off the top. Ok, so my son is at it again. So I went and got a ladder, and looked on top. OMG, pineapple cans, girl scout cookie wrappers and the list goes on and on. And this is why you do not adopt tall children.

May 20 - 26

You know you are getting too old, when you see that the majority of your mail are advertisements for senior living facilities.

You know you appear too old when your wife implies that you are getting senile, because you didn’t respond to her question in a timely manner.

You don’t appreciate getting old when all the info on covid singles out older adults.

And finally you know you are old when you pass two woman walking their dogs and you find yourself staring at the dogs.

May 13 - 19

I have discovered the reason men do not live as long as women. It is because men have to assemble patio furniture that our wives purchased.

I have spent 4 hours today assembling one of those swinging benches with an umbrella like cover. First of all there are fifty parts. The problem is the parts all look the same but they are different because the screw holes are in different places. So once you assemble something you realize that you have the wrong arm and you disassemble it and start over again. This happens with every section. And of course they give you a little wrench you have to use that is so small that you keep dropping it while you are holding multiple parts. Do you know how much fun it is to put together 3 different 5 foot long parts that have to fit on one bolt with washers in between?

Then when it was all done it turns out they made the top one inch too short and so it didn’t fit.

Have a nice Mother’s Day