So last night my wife was visiting her mother in Modesto so I decided to finish this Western “3:10 to Yuma” that I had started about 5 times. I now realize why I didn’t ever finish it. It starts with this family in the old West herding cattle.
Cooper goes nuts with just one horse let alone a herd of cattle. He is jumping straight up to attack the poor cows, and I keep turning up the volume to hear the conversation until I have maxed out the volume.
Of course, in the middle of this my wife calls, but I can’t hear the phone, until the characters are in a bar and Cooper calms down. So when I do finally answer the phone I had forgotten to turn down the tv. She of course asks why is the tv so loud, when I of course ask her to repeat the question because I can’t hear her. Finally, I say hold on honey, let me turn the tv down, and when I come back to the phone she asks why was the tv so loud? I explained that her four legged friend is prejudice against other animals and wants all other life on earth to no longer exist and I out of the goodness of my heart I am trying to educate him that all life must coexist.
She just asked, “Are you on some new medication”?
Oct 17 - 23
So my wife and I have realized it is very difficult to watch tv in our bedroom with Cooper. First of all he is very restless and always seems to find the remote and changes the channel. Maybe he doesn’t like what we watch. Second he does not like to see anything with 4 legs or anything that looks like it has 4 legs. He will go berserk, kind of like when he sees a car. Our tv is on a tall cabinet and he will get on his back legs and jump straight up, over and over again, trying to get the animal that is disturbing him. It can be a dog, or a horse, or a cow (we can’t watch westerns) and he won’t stop barking until the animal is off the screen. You can understand how we definitely can’t watch westerns. He also seems to figure out who the bad guy is and will bark at him. So all my wife and I seem to be able to watch are comedies with no pets.
Oh, by the way I found the Tomato Worm about 2 days later, still alive (I thought Cooper had eaten him or her), trying to get into the garage.
Oct 10 - 16
My wife usually edits my emails to catch my misspells, but I didn’t want her to read this for reasons you will understand so I apologize for any errors, and oddly enough she doesn’t like large insects anywhere.
Ok, so my daughter came into the house very proud and excited because she found one of those large (about 3 inches long) tomato worms. My wife took her to pick up a friend, and so my daughter put the worm in a plastic container full of slices of tomatoes, to keep the worm safe. They come home an hour later and the worm is gone, and I mean the worm is gone. We looked everywhere with no luck. My daughter is upset and she knows she can’t let her mother know as well. Meanwhile my son looks up on Google and finds out that these caterpillars can walk up to a mile per hour, which means this little guy could be anywhere in the house, anywhere. So I have suggested to my wife that she should go see that friend in Ireland she has been wanting see right away.
Oct 3 - 9
Ok, it has become apparent that Cooper has many past lives, and in everyone of them he has been run over by a car or truck. I know that seems crazy, but that is the only explanation for his attitude towards moving vehicles. When he sees a car go down our street, he becomes this mad fire breathing monster that just wants to go tear that car to pieces. The only solution I can come up with is to hire a dog psychic. A dog psychic is a person who claims to communicate by psychic means with animals, either living or dead through extrasensory perception. Hiring someone with extra senses makes a lot of sense, since I obviously have none. I will keep you informed of our results, meanwhile I am asking all my neighbors to throw him a treat when they drive by.
Folks tonight was our Mira Loma 50 year reunion. So I made a special menu for all Mira Lomans with the names of our old teachers for each item. For one week only if you went to Mira Loma in the sixties or seventies, ask for the Mira Loma special Menu. You just might see a couple of teachers you might recognize.