3 different stories - You don't need to read all of them.
1. We have a mysterious problem at our house. Two months ago my son's hamster suddenly died. My son said it just jumped out of his hands and died when it hit the floor. Me being a stupid parent allow him to get another one.This cute little hamster named Cupcake is just a joy to watch. Suddenly Cupcake disappears, with no trace. Coincidentally, my daughter's cat got very sick, at this same time, but you would see some trace of fur or something. Cooper, has been sniffing around, but again no trace. We thought by now we would have that wonderful smell, that accompanies dead vermin, but not yet.
2. A few months ago I filled out a survey online about air quality. Then last week I get a call from the air resources board. They would like to install an air sensor at my home. Since we are out in the country we have tons of fire wood and burn a lot to heat the house. So these 2 engineers come all the way up from the bay area to install these sensors. At first, I thought this was a prank, until I saw the equipment and computers they brought into the house. They installed one inside and one outside and they showed me how I can go on my phone and see the air quality. Ok, so the readings are in parts per million and it starts at the number 8. Ok, so I start a fire in the fire place and it immediately shoots up to 298. I haven't burned since.
3. Sorry, I forgot the 3rd story already.
Nov 18 - 24
Socks are the most wonderful thing. They keep you warm and snuggly in the Winter when your toes get ice cold. They come in all kinds of colors (which I think odd, since nobody sees them) and fabrics, and are just so comfortable. Too bad, I don’t have any, at least that match any way. It seems that Phobe, the new puppy loves socks. She especially likes the smelly, pre-wornsocks, but she has worked her way up to all socks. If I go to the sock drawer, she cannot be around, because she will snatch them right out of my hands, and run off, with the socks never to be seen again. I use to pride myself in being a master sock matcher. I once matched 90 pairs of socks. Now, that is no longer possible, because pieces of thread do not count as socks. Hopefully, one day, she will get over this sock fetish and I will be able to come to work and not panic when you look down.
Ok so my wife and I were out walking the dogs when one of the dogs had to go and we both forgot our bags. Fortunately there was a gopher hole close by. Poor gopher.
Nov 11 - 17
OK, I am walking the two dogs down the street, when suddenly one of the dogs decides to go. Then of course the other dog decides to go. I now have 2 dogs pooping on someone’s front yard, when the woman walks out her front door. I suddenly realize I have forgotten to bring a pick-up bag. What do you do?
1. You start crying and beg forgiveness.
2. You start speaking in a different language trying to explain the situation, hoping she will get bored with you.
3. You explain how you will return right away to pick it up.
4. You just reach down and pick them both up with your bare hands.
5. You just run away.
I think you know that 5 is the most logical conclusion.
Nov 4 - 10
Definition of a lake: a large body of water surrounded by land.
Definition of a pond: a small body of water formed naturally or by hollowing or embanking.
Definition of a puddle: a small pool of liquid.
I looked up these definitions to determine if Phoebe was leaving a puddle or a pond behind when she was doing her business inside the house. When she goes outside it is tiny, but inside it is beyond a puddle, and I think it is fair to say it is a pond. Of course, Cooper now thinks it is fair game again to do his business inside too, so our house is really just so wonderful. I am afraid they will get into a competition as to who gets to form the first lake.